Veterans Day :

My dad was in the Navy during WWII. My mother was a lieutenant in the Army Nurse Corp, same war. Most of my uncles and cousins were in WWII or Korea or Vietnam. Several of my high school classmates were killed in action in Vietnam. My daughter dated a guy who was in Desert Storm. Her dear friend is married to a Special Forces member who is in Bagdad as we speak. One of my closest friends was a sergeant in the 82nd Airborne Division. He saw action in Desert Storm.
Ask yourself this question: Like oxygen, what would we do without them? There have always been wars. According to the Bible, there always will be until Jesus comes back. Tell me how everyday life would go on without our military folk? Some fruitcake is always starting something somewhere. The selfless people in uniform allow us the privilege to sunbathe, watch movies, attend ball games, go to church, make love, raise families, build businesses, and generally pursue happiness each and everyday while we rarely even consider them. Like oxygen, we take for granted the very people that make our lives possible.
To commemorate Veteran's Day, my little town held an annual event. The military vets gathered at a central park in town. Dressed in their uniforms(which still fit I might add), these actual heroes (not silly T.V. show stars) hoisted "Old Glory" and rode on their iron horses (mostly Harleys) up one of the main streets in town. They smiled with pride and waived. I thanked God for them and cried.
They risk their lives and put themselves in harm's way. They know that at any given time they could die or be crippled for life. They do that for us. The least we could do is pray for them. God Bless America.

   Thanks vets,
        Joel

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    Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa :            PG            2008            89 mins
"Madagascar" was a very funny animated film. "Madagascar 2"? Absolutely no comparison. This sequel blows the original away. Words simply can not describe how hilarious this flick is.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that this is just a kids cartoon. This is no less than an instant comedy classic.
Like the atmosphere before a rock concert, the children in the theatre bubbled with anticipation. When the movie cranked up, they were soon joined by their parents in that contagious excitement.
Hurdling with the force of a falling safe, there was no stopping this comedic juggernaut. And who would want to? This film debuted three days after the longest and most stressful presidential race in my lifetime. Wednesday I felt like a racehorse at the end of the Kentucky Derby. Friday night I was re-energized by a comedy masterpiece! (I honestly thought one father a few rows behind me might need medical attention. He laughed so hard he nearly hyper-ventilated.)
There is nothing quite as satisfying as the sound of peels of joyous laughter coming from young children. If you want to understand the meaning of "laugh riot", go see "Madagascar 2" in a theatre filled with happy youngn's!
The casting director should be given a handsome Christmas bonus. David Schwimmer as the voice of "Melman" the giraffe is priceless. No one else could have been the voice for the character as it was drawn. And the paunchy, arrogant, deceitful lion, "Makunga", who SO desires to be the alpha male of the lion pride? Who else but Alec Baldwin? (They must've cast Baldwin first, then sketched the character to match.) "Gloria" the hippo was brought to life by Jada Pinkett Smith. We all know a woman just like "Gloria". And her "hip" hippo boyfriend "Moto Moto" makes an entrance like you wouldn't believe. You've got to see it!
Chris rock is truly one-in-a-million as the zebra(s). Ben Stiller is everything you'd expect as "Alex" the "King of New York". My favorite is still Sacha Baron Cohen as the voice of "Julien". (Remember the line from the first MADAGASCAR: "Where are you giants from? New York?! Everybody: Say hello to the New York Giants!")
The late Bernie Mac and the always lovable "Cedric the Entertainer" are in this flick too! Of course "Madagascar" wouldn't be "Madagascar" without the penguins. They dominate the very first scene in the movie with an unforgettable plane crash.
Folks, gather up as many kids as you can (along with their parents) and go see this thing at the theatre. I hope the DVD will be out by Christmas. But just in case it isn’t, I’m going to "move it move it" to see this one again while it's still at the box office.
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    Fireproof :            PG            2008            122 mins
The tellers of tales from the dark side try to convince us that sex is better than love. And power is better than service. (You’d rather be a hammer than a nail, right?) The spin-doctors proclaim that money conquers all, not love. But they all learned to lie from their daddy.
A man's home is his castle the old saying goes. I reckon that would make him the king. But the KING of kings says that the man who would be king, must be the servant of all.
Despite popular opinion, marriage is not just a legal contract that can be broken. It's a spiritual covenant. A sacred vow. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Where'd I get all this wisdom from? Why, I've been to two goat ropin's and a county fair. I've been all the way around the block… twice! I've also been to see "Fireproof".
You know these folks. They're the church in Georgia that brought you "Facing the Giants". When asked what they intended to do with the profit from that film, they proclaimed: "Make another movie!” And boy howdy, did they ever!
Kirk Cameron is a professional actor, and his experience brought the whole production of "Fireproof" up to a higher level. You can tell that the producers and directors have improved since their first endeavor. (It was heartfelt and joyful, but not the slickest flick you've ever seen.)
FIREPROOF is about a troubled marriage. I know that none of you have any trouble in your marriage, but go see this movie anyway. A pastor friend of mine said that in the future before he counsels married folk he's going to require them to watch FIREPROOF before they commence with counseling. Good idea!
When you see this film, you won't be treated to an Oscar nominee. But you will be blessed to an extent that no Oscar winner could ever hope to achieve.
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    Nights In Rodanthe :            PG-13            2008            97 mins
I built our geodesic dome house in the mountains. I made it strong like me, and beautiful like her. I had built one small bookcase and one leaky doghouse before. My third project was "The Dome”. Experienced contractors were hesitant to tackle the very involved, very complicated project. But fools do rush in where angels fear to tread.
Some days her pregnant self would climb the scaffold with me and help. We'd drop food down to our first-born in the playpen 22 feet below. The Dome faced the mountains to the north on the windward side of our own mountain. A beautiful stream rushed quietly by across the road. Daily we were amazed by hawks and eagles. The scream of a mountain lion nearby.
I was young and strong and stupidly fearless. She was gorgeous and sexy and clueless. I was an artisan and she was an artist. I'm not sure what on earth made us think that those traits would get us by. And sure enough, right on cue, our world slowly, painfully, slipped away. She didn't love me like she should have. I had no idea how to love her.
Diane Lane reminds me of my young wife every time I see her in a movie. But this time I was completely caught off guard. I guess everyone knows this is a love story, but darned if I knew it would tear my heart out with memories that washed over me like the waves of the ocean at North Carolina's Outer Banks.
Dr. Paul Flanner (Richard Gere) is every woman's dream and one woman's nightmare. Handsome and rich, he’s almost perfect. Almost. Paul and Adrienne Willis (Lane) are at the bottom of their respective barrels. No thoughts of redemption. Just fear and loneliness. But love does, after all, conquer everything.
Lord if you'll give me one more shot at my NIGHTS IN RODANTHE, I swear this time I'll get it right.
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    Saw V :            R            2008            89 mins
When you're born in Alabama, there's a state law that requires your parents to commit your sporting preference for life. They must choose either The University of Alabama, or Auburn University. It's stamped on your birth certificate. Thank God, my folks picked ‘Bama.
If you enjoy anything having to do with a crimson tide, you'll love SAW V. The blood flows freely throughout this horror/vigilante film. What? You hadn't realized that "Jigsaw" is a vigilante? Of course he is! He is a righter of wrongs, and a straightener of the crooked paths. He missed that part in the Bible where the Lord proclaims: "Vengeance is Mine!" Jigsaw thinks vengeance is his. And you thought he was a serial murderer! Why, he's never murdered anyone!
Tobin Bell is perfect for the role of "Jigsaw". (Isn’t Tobin Bell a killer name?) He goes about his diabolical deeds with a quiet relish and calm, cold-blooded expertise. In life he was an engineer. That's how he was able to design his ingenious torture machines. In death, he is a legend of sorts. That's how he is able to live vicariously thru his "student". Like the Manson Family goons, the apt pupil carries out all of "Jigsaw’s” will posthumously.
I generally detest bloody, gory movies. They are cheesy and low brow. Pointless and uninteresting. We have enough wack-jobs coming up with real-life horror stories all on their own. Watching innocent people die for our entertainment smacks of ancient Rome. Rome "fell" in large part due to their decadence. Let's not go down that path! But wait a minute. These victims aren't innocent. Their deaths are warranted aren't they?
I'll let you decide that after you've seen the movie. Ultra-violent and very gory,"SAW V” carries on the legacy of the series. We had hoped for another "SAW" movie and we got it. I wasn't disappointed. Will there be a "SAW VI”? I say "Roll Tide".
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    Max Payne :            PG-13            2008            100 mins
Alright all you college film-class students, listen up. Its film noir time again. Director John Moore must've blown the dust off of his old copy of "The Maltese Falcon" (Bogart, 1941). The sexual tension, the stark sets, the flashbacks and narration, (filmed in black and white of course) It's all here.
A twice told tale is always good. Like left-over spaghetti, all the original flavors run together in an even more thorough blend. There's nothing new about the story line in "MAX PAYNE”, but the telling of it is delicious.
Mark Wahlberg (as Max Payne) apparently comes from the Nicolas Cage school of movie roles: If they offer you a part - take it! Then blow them away with your ability to raise the level of the whole project to unexpected heights.
Wahlberg is joined by the dangerously beautiful Mila Kunis of "That 70's Show” fame. Ashton Kutcher is the better known star from that T.V. show, but he isn't the better looking. Ms. Kunis is ravishing as "Mona Sax". (I guess "Mona Sex" would have been too obvious...) She is reported to have actually frailed Wahlberg for real with her night stick during the filming of this action-packed revenge flick. As the fellas from “Z.Z. TOP" once opined: "She might get out her night stick and hurt me real, real bad, by the roadside in the desert. She’s got me under pressure! "
Rapper "Ludacris" played an Internal Affairs detective. (If that's not acting, I don't know what is!) Retired cop "B.B. Hensley" is portrayed by well known journeyman Beau Bridges. Beau and Jeff must have spent long hours on the set of "Sea Hunt”, learning at the feet of their actor/father Lloyd Bridges. They both learned the trade well. Thanks for paying attention boys; we are all better off as a result.
You'll recognize Chris O'Donnell and Donal Logue. Neither of them has been seen around for a while, but both are convincing actors. You won't recognize Olga Kurylenko as "Natasha", but you won't forget her either. Even as a child watching "Rocky and Bullwinkle” I knew "Natasha" was much sexier than "Boris". (Side bar here: Ya know, we American men sure are the lucky beneficiaries of this fairly recent influx of Russian chicks. LEGAL immigration has it's upside, doesn't it guys?!)
The "Valkyries" (ODIN’s warrior maidens, not the Honda motorcycles) played a similar part in "MAX PAYNE" as they played in Germanic mythology. They presided over battles, choosing who would die and then escorting them to VALHALLA to dine with Odin. Not quite as enticing as the whole seventy-two virgin shtick, but Valkyries are war-like virgins mind you; the sort of girls you don't quibble with. We've all known a few of those, haven’t we boys? OUCH!
This whole story moved right along its 100 minute route smoothly, and it seemed like a longer film. (In a good way) I enjoyed it and I think you would too. The ending was perfectly set up for a sequel, and of course if you wait until the credits run, you'll catch a quick scene that will convince you even more of an impending follow-up flick. I smell a trilogy. At any rate, I predict that we haven't seen the last of MAX PAYNE....
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    Lakeview Terrace :            PG-13            2008            110 mins
"You guys are lucky. You live next door to a cop." The deputy sheriff made that observation with all sincerity. Little did he know that he was dead wrong.
In the next-door-neighbor-as-psychotic-sociopath genre this film is a standout. Not Oscar material mind you, but still quite good. The trouble with these type of films is their almost complete lack of credibility. As you watch them, a little voice inside you is saying: "Okay, fantasy is one thing. But the director is trying to pass this far-fetched nonsense off as reality. He’s trying to make me believe that this could actually happen. It just isn't working!
Enter Samuel L. Jackson. Jackson has an ominous screen presence and his character "Abel Turner" has had about all he can stomach as a veteran officer of the L.A.P.D. Now this liberal interracial couple has moved in right next door. There’s a "disturbance in the force" and Abel won't stand for it!
At first it's mean pranks. Then it escalates. Then the polite young man retaliates. Then it's "Katie bar the door". The "caca" isn't the only thing that hits the fan.
The nice thing about this flick is that it makes you uncomfortable. Seriously. You become engaged and enraged as the story unfolds. By the time the catalyst for Abel's behavior is revealed, you no longer care. You just want to hit him upside the head with a shovel.
There are so many sub plots in this story that it seems completely plausible:
- Abel's kids
- The whole interracial dynamic
- An old school dinosaur that can't keep up with the times
- A husband keeping a little secret from his wife
- A wife keeping a big secret from her husband.
- Abel's partner abandoning him to advance to detective status
- An initially harmless situation spiraling down into a full blown tragedy
All this to a back drop of a forest fire in the Hollywood Hills, creeping ever closer to the homes of LAKEVIEW TERRACE.
Folks, this is a good one. Starting real soon all of the holidays will be upon us. The Hollywood releases will start falling like rain. Don't let LAKEVIEW TERRACE slip thru the cracks. Catch it while you can.
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    Eagle Eye :            PG-13            2008            118 mins
Like a bullet train in Tokyo, this action film screams across the big screen for a two hour thrill ride. When it starts, it starts right up and immediately gets to chooglin'. When it stops, you're breathless.
Just like an amusement ride, this flick won't have any long-term effect on your life, but it sure is fun while it lasts. Intriging ideas about what a computer can and can not do. How much privacy we may or may not have. Man against technology. The little guy raging against the machine as it were. All the techno-weirdo stuff we love to ponder.
Like a "Dollar Menu-naire", I was very satisfied with this entertaining little effort. Wasn’t expecting prime rib; didn't get it. That Shia LaBeouf kid is in yet another decent movie. He’s quite the popular actor lately. He delivers good solid performances (INDIANA JONES; TRANSFORMERS). He's well schooled in his chosen craft, and we'll probably see much more of him in the future. Not sure about his name though; kinda girly. But hey, John Wayne's real first name was Marion. And then there's Engelbert Humperdink. I guess a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, right Bill?
So let's be glad that we live in a country where we can discuss such inane intricacies as the relative value of a large roll of celluloid film. Don’t worry, be happy. This flick will help you be happy for a little while. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Tks, Joel    << Close Review

    Bangkok Dangerous :            R            2008            99 mins
Smooth and stylish, captivating and powerful, this film noir is dangerous and beautiful. Realistic / unrealistic / surrealistic can't co-exist simultaneously can they? They do in this stunning flick.
Nicholas Cage will apparently take any role offered to him. And why not? He brings his mysterious, edgy, controlling stage presence to all of the projects he's involved in. His confidence in his own abilities is impressive.
"Joe" (Cage) is an assassin on assignment in Bangkok. Joe is very successful in his line of work because he has rules of engagement. Rules that he never breaks. Wealthy, stealthy, and cunning to the core, Joe is absolutely ruthless and without remorse. But Joe has a problem.
Having already decided that this four-target "hit" would be his last job before retirement he opts for a political assassination. "The truth is, almost anyone can take out a politician. That's not the hard part. The hard part is getting away with it." Big jobs require big money. Retirement requires big money. It's a match made in Hell. No matter though, he’s made up his mind. This is the end of his killing for hire.
Getting deeply cut in a fight during one altercation he can not go the hospital. A side walk pharmacy offers some material potentially useful to healing his knife wound. (The one in his arm) The helpful pharmacist offers some assistance potentially useful to healing his other wound. The one only she can see; the one in his heart.
Their ensuing love story is tender and engaging. He takes her to dinner. Meets her mother. The whole thing. "Feelings" can be a liability for a hit-man though. Next thing you know he'll be breaking some of those hard and fast rules. You know how women are. Always wanting to soften you up. Turns out she's deaf and mute though. (Two qualities that I find endearing in a woman) Romance might not be such a bad deal after all!
Joe trains an apprentice of sorts. A sidekick named "Kong”. An heir apparent. There Joe goes again, fussing with the rules. How will it all end?
You can find out when you see this one for yourself. And you must see it. "One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble." So the old song goes . This movie will surprise you with it's depth of storyline and quality of entertainment. It is a top-notch film. I didn't want it to end.
Tks, Joel     << Close Review

    The Bank Job :            R            2008            111 mins
They intended to open the vault. Instead, they opened Pandora's Box! This flick has more hidden agendas than a high-school dance. ”Martine Love" (Saffron Burrows) wants some photos. MI-5 (or is it 6?) wants the contents of safe deposit box 118 VERY badly. "Lord Drysdale" wants to try and put the, shall we say, scandalous cat back in the bag. "Terry Leather" (Jason Statham) just wants the money.
As it turns out, the bank robbers got what they wanted, but not the way they'd planned to. The Queen's men are very results-oriented fellas. What they're intent on acquiring seems to be well within their capabilities to achieve. MI-5 is undaunted by these bungling first time bank robbers. Or are they? It's been said that the "Titanic" was built by professionals and "Noah's Ark" was built by amateurs. You all know how those stories turned out right? Same deal here.
This is far and away the most accomplished work Jason Statham has done. This project was undertaken in England. Had it been done in the United States it would've opened in more theatres and been properly marketed. Many folks have never even heard of "The Bank Job", let alone seen it!
The film has a few weaknesses in the first ten minutes but that doesn't stop this factual tale from gelling into a "page turner" as it were. The characters are well developed and the story very engrossing as scenes roll by and the viewer is captivated to no end.
Folks trust me: "The Bank Job" is a keeper. Pull it off the shelf and make a purchase. One viewing won't be enough. People are under the impression that the cream floats to the top, and that you can't keep a good movie down. That is simply not always the case. True gems are occasionally overlooked at the box office . This is one of those times. DVD’s are one of the best entertainment values out there. Especially when encoded with master works like "The Bank Job". Buy it. Watch it. Love it.
Tks, Joel

P.S.: Just a tidbit. The real-life bank job upon which this film is based, netted the robbers more money than the actual "Great Train Robbery" thieves acquired during that heist.
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