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Joel's Movie Reviews
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Joel's Latest Movie Review:

Rise of the Planet of the Apes   Overall Rating: 

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    Rise of the Planet of the Apes :            PG-13            2011            105 mins
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"Dude, here's an idea! Let's make a movie where apes are the superior beings and humans are inferior. Oh wait, that's already been done. They called it PLANET OF THE APES."

"Okay, okay. Here's another idea. Let's make a movie where we give drugs to our favorite monkey..."

“DUDE STOP! THEY'RE APES, NOT MONKEYS!”
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"Saw-ree man. I'm so insensitive some times...Okay, Okay, our favorite ape. Then our favorite ape gets really smart and goes like, you know- APE!"

"He nearly kills the neighbor 'cause he's a jerk, when the jerk starts roughin' up the smart apes' human sort of a grandpa who had Alzheimer’s, but the smart apes' human sort of a dad gave him the same drugs he gave the apes real monkey mother (There I go again dude, saw-ree), I mean ape momma, just before she gave birth to him."

"She died. Grandpa got a bunch better and then got worse. That's when he tried to steal the jerk neighbor’s car and the jerk snatched him up."

"Our favorite ape then throws a righteous beatin' into the jerk and gets hauled off by animal control."

"Just like with humans, sometimes goin' to prison makes you worse. Our ape-boy gets way worse and starts an ape uprising. Only the other apes aren't as smart as him, so they tear up a bunch of stuff and wreak like, you know, heinous-ness."

"How’s that idea sound for a movie man?"

"THAT IDEA SUCKS DUDE."

"Okay, okay, what should we do?"

"GO SEE "COWBOYS AND ALIENS". IT SOUNDS WAY COOLER."

"Righteous dude! Let's go!"

Thx, Joel



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Albemarle's Eastgate Cinemas, Thank you!
Eastgate Cinemas - Albemarle, NC We would like to thank
our local theater, Eastgate Cinemas.
They always treat us with such great hospitality that we wanted to make it known to others. To all the staff at Eastgate... THANK YOU.
   - Joel & The TML Staff
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