Cowboys and Aliens :            PG-13            2011            118 mins

I THOUGHT that a true western and a true sci-fi flick would be mutually exclusive.

I THOUGHT that "Cowboys and Aliens" would be a parody of itself.

I THOUGHT that basing a movie on invaders from outer space attacking a western town in 1873 was a very risky proposition that was director John Favreau's to screw up.

I THOUGHT WRONG! (That's what I get for thinking).

My friends, this thing works! I tried my best to rate it a "4". I attended a second viewing hoping to find something that would keep it at a "4". (I loved the flick, but was almost embarrassed that I did.) The second screening only worked to convince me more than ever that "Cowboys and Aliens" is a true "five"; my highest rating!

Daniel Craig was excellent as "Jake Lonergan", a stranger with amnesia. Olivia "almost drove me" Wilde, was truly captivating as “Ella". (Those eyes, oh my...). Harrison Ford will apparently never grow tired of wowing us with his portrayals. Here he plays "Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde" a truly hardened ex-military officer that has seen it all- until now.

The Apaches, the outlaws, the cattlemen, the town folk, all are forced to join together and try to defeat this seemingly unstoppable foe. Remember, these western folk have never even seen (or heard of) a car or an airplane, let alone a hyper-sonic outer space craft!

Folks, I have seen and enjoyed all the "Summer Blockbusters" released so far this season. COWBOYS AND ALIENS holds its own against "Deathly Hallows", and SURPASSES the rest of the field. It's that good. You can't not like it!

Just writing about it makes me want to go see it again! By golly I'm going to! See you at the movies!

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Larry Crowne :            PG-13            2011            99 mins

Early on in this film, Mr. Larry Crowne ("That's Crowne with an E ") drinks from a cup with a crown on it. As I recall, it's a golden crown. If I'm wrong about the color of the crown, please don't tell me. In my mind the crown on the cup is symbolic of this film. Golden.

No camera tricks. No special effects. "Larry Crowne" makes its bones the old fashioned way- with darn good acting.

Tom Hanks is the grey eminence of Hollywood's elite. Pure class. Simply sophisticated. He makes brilliant acting look easy! Paired with her highness Julia Roberts as "Mercedes Tainot", they make a grand couple.

I'm not giving anything away here. You can guess from the trailers where this love story is headed. But oh my, the sweet, funny telling of it! The journey is touching and warm. Very comfortable. Relaxing. And then there's the rest of the cast!

There's "Talia" (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), an angel mistaken for a vixen. (Or is it the other way around)? The part of her boyfriend played with perfect restraint by Wilmer Valderrama. (FEZ of "That Seventies Show").

There's "Mercedes" husband (Bryan Cranston of "Malcolm in the Middle"). A perfect jerk. And let's not forget the kids of college course 217 that assure the viewing audience of a seamless experience. No gaps in the action. No jagged transitions from scene to scene.

George Takei (the former "Mr. Sulu" of STAR TREK fame), makes for a most eccentric, most interesting economics professor. Brilliantly played Mr. Takei!

Kudos to the co-writer and director, Mr. Tom Hanks. Surprise, you didn't know did you? Neither did I, until after I'd seen the film. Tom has orchestrated a cinematic waltz that all at once effortlessly dances across the silver screen and your smiling heart.

This film won't make you cry. It WILL frequently make you chuckle. And ultimately make you smile with sheer satisfaction.

Hold contentedly onto the hand of your date, and be thankful that there is, after all, love in the world.

Folks, LARRY CROWN is a keeper.

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Three For All / Two For Some :            G-R            2011            92-106 mins


Folks, we have a bumper crop of movie comedies this summer season! It's been many moons since this many funny flicks have been in the theatres all at one time. They range from 92 to 106 minutes in length. From "G" to "R" in rating.

CARS II (G), THE ZOOKEEPER (PG), and MR. POPPERS PENGUINS (PG) are family friendly flicks that nearly anyone could see, from your five-year-old daughter to your 85-year-old grandma.

BAD TEACHER and HORRIBLE BOSSES (both "R" rated), are decidedly NOT for everyone. They are raunchy, racy, and low-brow. Strictly adults only.

All five films have the listed "FYI's" in common. They also have something else in common: THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! (Notice the number "5" ["great"] rating in the comedy category for ALL five of the films in this review).

The biggest suprise out of this crop was THE ZOOKEEPER. I was concerned that it might be a light-weight among these other heavier-weighted contenders. I needn't have worried. In fact, it MAY be the funniest one of the bunch!

It's been unusually hot and stormy this year. Get into a theater, buy some snacks, and cool off with "cool" comedies. Movies still give more bang for the buck than many other forms of entertainment. Take some time off and take advantage of that fact.

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Kung Fu Panda 2 :            PG            2011            90 mins

My friends, please indulge me for a moment. I must address the 3-D situation. Let me speak of Blue Ray technology to set up an analogy first.

If you watch a DVD in blue ray format, you can immediately see the difference that that technology makes in the audio/visual enjoyment of a movie. By itself it is, 100% of the time, a noticeable enhancement. An eighty-year- old woman with cataracts and a hearing aid could not miss the upgrade.

3-D, on the other hand, is frequently done very poorly and to no effect at all.

AVATAR was enhanced by I-max, but not by 3-D. A CHRISTMAS CAROL was quite good in 2-D, but absolutely stunning in 3-D. What's my point? Why go to the extra expense and trouble of making a film using 3-D technology if it doesn't enhance the viewing pleasure? THAT'S ITS ONLY JOB! Folks pay extra at the box office for what is often a roll of the dice. Maybe it'll be worth the money, maybe not.

Case in point: KUNG FU PANDA 2. Animation? Wonderful! Film editing? Flawless! 3-D? Almost unnoticeable! Why bother? It makes me a little crazy (er).

I won't press home the fact that KFP 2 isn't as good as the first one. I won't be-labor the point that it can barely stand alone as a story. (If you haven't seen the first one, you might want to rent it before going to see this one. If you don't, you may not appreciate what's going on in the second one).

We all know that anyone with kids will most likely be going to see this flick at the theater. It's a requirement. If you don't take your children, social services will be at your door before you know it.

To give this little ditty its due, many kids were laughing heartily and often during the screening. It wasn't a complete waste of time.

If you enjoyed the first one, you'll be okay with this one. Might as well be, you'll be going anyway. And hey, it's in 3-D...

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides :      PG-13      2011      137 mins

Emmitt Smith is the NFL's all-time leading rusher. 'Nough said right there! He was surrounded by the best of the best in team mates, coaches and support staff, and Emmitt took full advantage of that environment, as well he should have. He definitely deserves his Hall of Fame status.

Barry Sanders played four fewer years than Smith's fourteen, and is third all-time in rushing. Although no one ever accomplishes anything in pro ball by themselves, Barry certainly wasn't surrounded by the best of the best. His accomplishments were due in large part to his unmatched ability to "tote the rock" no matter the circumstances. He may be third all-time, but Barry Sanders is second to none when it comes to ball carrying. Perhaps the best ever!

Had their roles been reversed, and Smith played for the frequently forlorn Detroit Lions, there's a possibility that we'd all be saying: "Emmitt who"?

But one can only imagine the results if Sanders had played for the then almost unstoppable Dallas Cowboys. (I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'...)

Johnny Depp fearlessly tread into the role of "Captain Jack Sparrow" with many cornerstones removed from his formerly rock-solid cast. "Hector Barbossa" (Geoffrey Rush) wasn't as swashbuckling and reliable as in past "Pirates" adventures, and Blackbeard's daughter "Angelica" (Penelope Cruz), had no chemistry with Mr. Depp, and couldn't quite rise to the occasion as a memorable “Pirates of the Caribbean" stalwart cast member.

Supposedly "The pirate that all pirates fear"- BLACKBEARD (Ian McShane), didn't even make me nervous, let alone scare me. Maybe it's because I'm not a pirate. Who knows?

All this might sound like PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES, is a flop. It most assuredly is not! It is first and foremost a tribute to the acting ability of Johnny Depp, who film after film, proves his fantastic skill as a thespian.

The fantastic music of Hans Zimmer was used to a greater advantage in this installment of "Pirates" than ever before, and director Rob Marshall can apparently make chicken salad out of any part of the chicken.

Please don't hesitate to journey along with "Captain Jack" and the crew in a three-way race with the Spaniards and Blackbeard and his daughter. It's a good movie. Just don't expect alot of familiar "Pirates" action. After all, they're on stranger tides!

Stand-outs to watch for:

• Astrid Berges-Frisbey as "Syrena" the mermaid.
• Sam Claflin as "Phillip" the missionary minister.
• Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards in a cameo as "Captain Teague".

OPINION: Yes, there will be a number five.

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Thor :            PG-13            2011            114 mins

Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonalds, once said: "We take hamburgers more seriously than anybody else in the business." He had just a relative handful of restaurants at the time.

Currently, there are thirty-one thousand McDonalds worldwide, and Mr. Kroc is said to be responsible for making more men millionaires thru his owner/operator franchise system than anybody else in history. Now that's taking things seriously!

I sure am glad that "the powers that be" in movieland have taken another supposedly uncomplicated subject seriously- comic books!

Comic books have provided a seemingly limitless supply of superheroes and villains with which movie-makers can entertain us to no end.

The latest incarnation of comic book hero to morph into a matinee idol is the god of thunder- THOR. (Chris Hemsworth).

Unlike Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States, "Thor" doesn't believe in "walking softly and carrying a big stick". THOR thunders like a herd of elephants everywhere he goes and carries a "mack-daddy" hammer that has more tricks up its handle than a magician’s top hat!

Along with wielding his hammer with great auTHORity, he also swings it with a certain degree of arrogance and general disregard. His father, the legendary Norse god Odin (Anthony Hopkins), gets about all he wants of Thor's vanity and disrespect and banishes him to Earth- without his hammer. From that point, things get really interesting!

Here's a short list of events:

• Thor gets hit by a car driven by three scientists (Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, and Stellan Skarsgard).
• Thor gets tasered by one of the scientists.
• Thor's daddy falls ill back on ASGARD, Thor's home planet.
• Thor's brother "Loki"(Tom Hiddleston) ascends the throne. (Not such a good thing as it turns out...)
• U.S. law enforcement authorities discover Thor's hammer. (Also tossed to Earth by Odin, but its whereabouts are unknown by Thor, at least for awhile).
• Thor gets arrested after discovering the location, and attempting to retrieve, said hammer.

What happens after that? I can't tell ya, you'll just have to go see for yourself!

For the most part, the relaying of Thor's adventures is well told and action-packed. The CGI techniques are quite good, and the 3-D is absolutely pointless. While it doesn't detract from the film, it doesn't add to it either.

Folks, don't let useless 3-D stop you from following Thor's journey on Earth. Along the way, Thor learns a few valuable lessons from his new girlfriend. (Oh, I didn't tell you about her? Well, I'm sorry, I can't.) He becomes a lot more mature, and a lot less narcissistic. When he stops loving himself so much, we start loving him more.

In the end, the audience discovers Thor's a pretty good friend to have. I think you'll like him. I did.

P.S.: Stay through the credits.

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Fast Five :            PG-13            2011            130 mins

Macaroni and cheese is a fairly simple recipe: You've got your macaroni; you've got your cheese. As uncomplicated as that dish is, it is enjoyed by millions of people across the nation. Such is the status of the FAST AND FURIOUS franchise. Nothing too complicated about any of those flicks, but millions find them tasty bits of entertainment. "Fast Five" continues the tradition.

Ladies, I can make you look forward to seeing this film by mentioning two names: Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. All muscles and tight tee shirts should about do it for you girls.

Fellas, I can make you look forward to seeing this film by mentioning two names: Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. They are on opposite sides of the law in this movie, and they get into a heckuva fist fight in a scene you boys won't soon forget!

For fans of the series, all the "regulars" are back, doing all their "regular" stuff. VERY COOL!

The things that they do with cars are, of course, impossible for the most part. But man is it fun to watch! A full-on blast from start to finish!

There's enough storyline to keep this whole rolling wreck interestingly in motion, and ABSOLUTELY AWESOME stunt work throughout the movie! The film editors and boys and girls of the C.G.I. team should be given bonuses for their work. Making the unreal and surreal look real is no easy task!

"Furious" fans, stay through the credits. You'll be glad you did.

P.S. Tyler Perry has a new film out also: "Madea's Big Happy Family". What's that got to do with "Fast Five"? Both films are part of tasty franchises that their respective fans can't wait to devour as soon as a new installment is served up. Bon Appétit'!

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Rango :            PG            2011            107 mins

Folks, "Rango" is a Western. WHAT?

"But I thought RANGO was a cartoon?" It is animated, yes. But it's a Western.

"You mean like HANG 'EM HIGH and THE OUTLAW JOSIE WALES Western? Yes, like that.

"But I thought RANGO was a comedy?" It is. And a very funny one too.

"But I thought Westerns were mostly for adults?" They are, and RANGO is.

"But I thought RANGO was a kid's movie?" It is, and they'll love it!

"Now hold on a dad-gum minute! Westerns are all horses and six-guns and saloons!" Yep, they are. RANGO is too.

"But RANGO has cars and Las Vegas-like towns in it!" Uh-huh...

"You mean to tell me RANGO's a modern-old-fashioned-Western-comedy-drama?" I do.

"Yo' momma!" Now hold on a minute partner. I'll smack you for talkin' 'bout my momma!

"I'm confused?!" You won't be when you see it.

RANGO is a mondo-bizarro flick written by John Logan, who is obviously a mad-man.

It is directed by Gore Verbinski, and for the life of me, I don't know how he put it all together so flawlessly!

Every ones favorite lovable weirdo Johnny Depp has picked yet another winner to star in. How on Earth does he do it?

There's a very frightening rattle snake in this film. There's a crippled, deceitful, turtle in this film. (Yes, I said deceitful turtle.) There are hill-billy moles in this film. I won't go on, but the cast of characters are unusual, lovable, and truly amazing! You'll never forget them!

Ladies and gentlemen, RANGO will one day take it's RIGHTFUL place alongside such animated legends as "Fantasia", "Snow White", "Toy Story", and "Nightmare Before Christmas". It's that good.

"But normally you say something like "wowzer" when you get surprised by a flick!" Normally I do. But RANGO? Let me just say: DOUBLE WOWZER!

P.S. Some stand-out characters/voices to look for:



Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Battle: Los Angeles :            PG-13            2011            116 mins

I had very low expectations for this film. After "2012" and "Skyline", I almost dreaded the thought of going to see it!

At the last minute my buddy Mike showed up at the theatre, and I knew he wanted to watch it. Reluctantly, I agreed.

Boy was I ever wrong!

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES is no less than a classic war movie. What a surprise!

I was expecting a poorly done "Transformers" or "Terminator" knock-off. It's not like that at all. I was stunned and pleasantly taken aback by the excellence of this film.

"Battle L.A." is solid and believable. Two virtues not usually found in the "aliens-have-come-to-Earth-to-exterminate-us" flicks.

Cohesive and seamless, this ain't yer grandpa's G.I. Joe story. Very realistic modern Marine warfare that could have been fought against Middle-Eastern insurgents but wasn't. The enemy just happens to be from outer space, and that bizarre scenario is made very believable in this surprisingly well-crafted smash hit.

Remember, these men are Marines, not Sunday school teachers. Thankfully, there isn't a steady stream of foul language because the fighting men's mission is to rescue a group of civilians that includes three children and a woman. The Marines are mindful of that, and keep the expletives down to a low roar. But when it does occasionally happen, the men let 'er rip. The cussing is infrequent, takes up little dialogue or screen time, but does exist. Again, they're Marines, not baby-sitters.

Folks, BATTLE: LOS ANGELES is a truly action-packed, very intense, hugely enjoyable war-movie. I've seen it twice and would go again.

Thx, Joel    << Close Review

    Gnomeo and Juliet :            G            2011            84 mins

Can you say "cuteness"? This little gem was fun!

Loosely based on Shakespeare's play (very loosely), GNOMEO & JULIET chortles right along with a soundtrack by none other than Sir Elton John and his original songwriting partner Bernie Taupin.

With voices by the likes of James McAvoy, Hulk Hogan, Jason Statham, Ozzy Osbourne, and Michael Caine, this very clever little flick engages the viewer from beginning to end.

Great animation and very crisp 3-D round out the deck. Heck, old Bill Shakespeare himself (Patrick Stewart) was in a cameo for this project. Top that!

Fun, fun, fun and short and sweet. The whole family would enjoy this one. Catch it if you can!

Thx, Joel    << Close Review